Horse racing isn’t just about speed and strategy; it’s also about the names. Some racehorses have names so bizarre, funny, or downright ridiculous that they steal the spotlight. From puns to pop culture references, these names add a layer of humor to the sport. In this post, we’ll trot through some of the most absurd, funny, and weirdest racehorse names in history.
5 The Dumbest Race Horse Names
Let’s start with some of the most hilariously dumbest race horse names that have graced the tracks.
1. Potoooooooo
This 18th-century horse got his unusual name either through a bit of misunderstanding or a bit of mischief. His owner asked the stable boy to write the horse’s name—Potatoes—on his stall door. The boy diligently wrote “Pot” followed by “8 o’s.” The owner liked the name so much that the horse was registered with the worst horse name.
2. Hoof Hearted
At first glance, Hoof Hearted seems like a charming and appropriate name for an equine friend. But if you say it five times fast, you’ll realize it’s a clever double-entendre that made it past Jockey Club censors .
3. Whykickamoocow
This name comes from a New Zealand expression that refers to a very remote place. In the states, we might have named such a horse “Boondocks” or “Timbuktu,” but that doesn’t have quite the same ring to it .
4. Big Tits
A French-trained filly named Big Tits raced in 2003. The name was so inappropriate that it would never have been allowed in the UK. But in France, it was permitted, much to the amusement of racegoers .
5. Wear The Fox Hat
At first glance, it just looks like a silly name. But when said aloud in an Irish accent, it sounds like “Where the fox hat,” which is a humorous phrase in itself .
5 Funny Horse Names – Race Horse Names
Now, let’s gallop through some of the funniest horse names that have made us laugh.
6. Neigh Sayer
A playful twist on the term “naysayer,” ideal for that horse who’s a bit contrary.
7. Hay Fever
This name suits a horse that just can’t resist munching on hay, adding a lighthearted touch.
8. Mane Attraction
Highlighting a horse with a stunning mane, this name is punny and charming .
9. Sir Neighs-a-Lot
A clever play on the name of the famous rapper, Sir Mix-a-Lot, this name is perfect for a horse with a lot to say.
10. Trojan Horse
A name that plays on the ancient Greek story, this horse is both clever and humorous .
5 Weirdest Racehorse Names in History
Some horse names are so bizarre that they leave us scratching our heads.
11. Ghostzapper
This name is both kooky and somewhat endearing. You might not be able to imagine saying it and keeping a straight face, but with over $3 million in career earnings, that’s Mister Ghostzapper to you .
12. Odor in the Court
Often, horses are named in a fashion after their parents. Thus, the horse Golden Soul is by Perfect Soul out of Hollywood Gold. Odor in the Court, a much less fortunate creature, was sired by Judge Smells .
13. Clyde Van Dusen
Kentucky Derby winner in 1929, Clyde Van Dusen was named after his trainer, former jockey Clyde Van Dusen. It could only be weirder if Clyde Van Dusen had ridden Clyde Van Dusen during the race .
14. L’Abbesse de Jouarre
A Thoroughbred racehorse that won the 1889 Epsom Oaks. The horse was owned by Lord Randolph Churchill and the Earl of Dunraven during her three-year racing career. She was nicknamed “Abscess on the Jaw” during her career due to the difficulty the public had pronouncing her name .
15. Narquois
A French racehorse born in 1891, Narquois was renowned for his ugliness. Despite his appearance, he became an excellent competitor and set several records .
5 Funny Race Horse Names for Race Nights
Race nights are filled with excitement and laughter, especially when these funny horse names are announced. Here are the most funny names for horses at race nights.
16. Bucking Fastard
A name that brings a smile to anyone who hears it, Bucking Fastard is a favorite among race night attendees.
17. Full of Hay
A humorous name that suits a horse with a hearty appetite, Full of Hay is sure to get a laugh.
18. Galloping Giggles
This name perfectly captures the joy and laughter that comes with race nights.
19. Clip Clop Comedy
A playful name that combines the sound of hooves with humor, Clip Clop Comedy is a hit at race nights.
20. Whinny the Poo
A punny name that combines the sound a horse makes with a beloved children’s character, Whinny the Poo is both cute and funny .
10 Worst Horse Names
Let’s gallop through more of the funniest and most bizarre horse names that have graced the tracks.
21. Ben Dover
A classic play on words, “Ben Dover” is a name that never fails to elicit laughter. It’s a favorite among fans for its cheeky humor.
22. Phil McCrackin
This name is a punny delight, combining a common name with a humorous twist. It’s a name that brings a smile to anyone who hears it.
23. Sofa King Fast
A name that sounds innocent at first but reveals its cheeky side when said aloud. It’s a clever play on words that’s sure to amuse.
24. Spaghetti
A name that’s as fun to say as it is to hear. “Spaghetti” is a lighthearted choice for a horse with a playful personality.
25. Popcorn
This name captures the bouncy and energetic nature of a horse. It’s a fun and quirky choice that stands out.
26. Biscuit
Sweet and comforting, “Biscuit” is a name that evokes warmth and friendliness. It’s perfect for a horse with a gentle demeanor.
27. DoReMiFaSoLaTiDo
Inspired by the musical scale, this name is both unique and catchy. It’s a tongue-twister that’s sure to entertain.
28. Harry Trotter
A clever play on the famous wizard’s name, “Harry Trotter” is a magical choice for a horse with a bit of charm.
29. Hoof Hearted
A name that’s both charming and cheeky. When said quickly, it reveals a hidden pun that’s sure to make people chuckle.
30. Wear The Fox Hat
A name that sounds innocent but carries a humorous twist when said aloud. It’s a name that never fails to get a laugh.
10 Funny Horse Names Puns One Liners
31. Neigh Sayer
A clever play on the term “naysayer,” perfect for a horse that’s always vocal and opinionated.
32. Sir Trot-a-Lot
Inspired by the famous rapper Sir Mix-a-Lot, this name suits a horse with a bouncy and confident stride.
33. Mane Event
For the horse that always steals the spotlight, this pun combines “main event” with the horse’s glorious mane.
34. Hoof Hearted
A cheeky play on “who farted,” this name is sure to get a chuckle from anyone who hears it.
35. Hay Fever
Ideal for a horse that can’t resist munching on hay, this name is both punny and fitting.
36. Justa Gallopin’
A lighthearted take on the phrase “just a-galloping,” perfect for a horse that’s always on the move.
37. Pony Soprano
A musical pun that combines the beloved TV character Tony Soprano with a pony’s stature.
38. Whinny the Pooh
A sweet and punny twist on the classic children’s character Winnie the Pooh.
39. Neigh Kidin’
A playful way to say “no kidding,” this name is perfect for a horse with a sense of humor.
40. Trotter Swift
Combining the famous pop star Taylor Swift with the horse’s trotting gait, this name is both clever and catchy.
Honorable Mentions
These names didn’t quite make the top 20 but are still worth a chuckle.
- Flat Drunk – A name that plays on the term “flat out,” this horse was certainly not seeing double during her debut race, which she won at two years old .
- I’ll Have Another – This hilariously named horse achieved great success, winning the Kentucky Derby and Preakness Stakes in 2012 .
- Mywifenosevrything and Thewifedoesntknow – Astonishingly, these two hilariously-named horses ended up racing against each other .
Why Choose The Dumbest Race Horse Names?
The naming of racehorses is a tradition steeped in history. Owners often choose names that reflect the horse’s lineage, personality, or physical traits. However, some owners opt for names that are humorous, clever, or downright silly to stand out in the racing world.
The Jockey Club, the organization that oversees horse racing in the United States, has specific rules regarding horse names. These include restrictions on offensive language, length, and duplication. Despite these rules, some names slip through the cracks, leading to some of the funniest and most bizarre names in racing history. Ultimately getting the dumbest race horse names you never heard of.
Conclusion
Horse racing is a sport filled with excitement, speed, and strategy. But it’s also a sport filled with humor, especially when it comes to the names of the horses. From puns to pop culture references, these names add a layer of entertainment to the races. Whether you’re a seasoned racegoer or a newcomer, these funny and dumbest race horse names are sure to bring a smile to your face.
So, the next time you’re at the races, keep an ear out for these hilarious horse names. They might just be the highlight of the day.
